warning: sad stuff

I could be spending this valuable time finishing math, Chinese, APES, history, or English homework, but I realized that if I didn't take a break anytime soon, I'd jump off the balcony that's across from my bed. As I've said before, this is an honest take on my time in China. So far, I have gotten used to everything culture-wise (except for on the bus, I was looking over this lady's shoulder to see if my stop was coming up and she pushed me away, but I don't think that's a cultural thing. I think that's just plain rudeness), and my friends are great, but the fact of the matter is, my grades are plummeting and I'm not okay.

Besides the pushing lady incident, everything today was going well. The history quiz we took was a lot easier than I had expected, and I understood the calculus lesson we were being taught. Then I was called into Ms. Becker's (our Resident Director and my advisor) office during class and she gently told me that she is going to have to write a letter to my parents saying that I have a D in history. At that point, I sort of broke down and cried. It was around two o'clock in the afternoon at that time, and since then, I've been crying on and off throughout the day. As I am writing this, I actually realizing how pathetic I sound but the truth is that I've never let my grades go below a B and I have no idea how else to handle it but to have random sobbing sessions. Oh and I haven't told my parents about the D yet either, so... surprise dad! Happy late birthday (his birthday was on the 24th so be sure to say HBD).

I have a 6-page synthesis paper due on Monday which I haven't started, too btw. Just another item on the stress agenda that I thought I'd add because it's subtracting years from my life.

Anyway. This post is going to be fairly short because I do have to get back to homework. I don't have anyone to talk to about my problems because everyone I know and love is either in a deep sleep, doing homework, or doesn't speak enough English, so I figured, why not tell the entire world? Thanks for reading about my woes. Time for me to go back to mental labor.